Good Behaviour

I've been on a bit of a kick about courtesy lately, most likely due to the fact that I've been reading Angela Thirkell's Barsetshire books and re-reading the Anne of Green Gables series (for the millionth or so time- my new goal in life is to be just like Miss Lavender Lewis). I feel very nostalgic for the days of good manners and proper behaviour. Even when I was a child the standards of behaviour were much stricter- which is a very spinster-like thing to say, I know. A few years ago there was a spate of new etiquette books on the market, all purporting to teach their readers how to use proper etiquette in the modern world. I'm sure many of those books were quite useful, but I think there is a very great distinction between etiquette and courtesy. Etiquette is a set of rules or guidelines that teaches one how to behave, while courtesy is a way of living that springs (or ought to spring) from a conviction of the essential importance and worth of every human being. I'm not denying that etiquette is very useful; like every old-fashioned girl and spinster-in-training, I asked for and received my Emily Post Guide to Etiquette for Christmas many years ago. Even the most stringent following of those rules, however, seems hollow without that underlying charity. My autumnal resolution is to practice this sort of courtesy always, even to impertinent teenagers and the very trying people who talk too loudly in bookstores.